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Learning about Life's Learning

Our lives are one really big learning curve.

girl and dog looking out over canyon

Let’s face it – who really feels like they’ve finally got their stuff together? Really really? Often, we are busy thinking about something in the past we want to resolve or striving toward something in our future we want to make better, improve, experience differently.

Read more books, do that yoga posture better, lift those weights, improve communication skills within relationships, walk further, get to bed earlier, learn that musical instrument, eat better, breathe deeper more often, write that book, meditate deeper, be more creative… still more to do.

To learn or get better at something, we need to be motivated. Motivation is the energy that drives us forward, a questing for that feeling of Wholeness, fulfilment and safety. Some might experience this feeling as love or enjoyment. However some of the time the learned motivational behaviour comes about due to stress or a fearful situation. A pattern gets laid down in our nervous system through that experience, and it stays in our nervous system and body memory as a reference every time that learned pattern is activated.

As time goes on, we begin to have moments where the pattern engages and we seemingly have no control over our response, it’s a reaction. Childhood behaviours that at one time served us or protected us, may now arise as impediments to having healthy relationships, happy family life, feeling confident, stepping out and taking on new jobs or putting ourselves forward to mentor others. They can stop us from moving forward physically and emotionally.

We know some part of us wants to change but another part is holding us back. We cannot access our inner resources to help ourselves because our neural network patterns have wired in the limitations. These patterns of stuckness take a toll on our energy levels. They end up making us develop coping mechanisms and strategies to deal with everyday life. During my work I love being witness to clients experiencing aspects of themselves coming together, sometimes for the first time. There are the obvious signs – smiles, open eyes, free movement of limbs, co-ordinated steps, deep breathing and then the subtle but no less important signs of relief and relaxed postural muscles. Big sighs, sometimes laughter and the release of facial tension. The energetic field emanating from them is one of calm and presence. These notable changes are the result of a level of integration that takes place within the neural networks. The body being given access to resources it didn’t know or remember that it had.

So, ponder this. Next time you address the change that is happening in your life, whether it be planned or spontaneous, do your best to imbue the situation with the most positive thoughts about it that you can muster. See if you can link the event to something else you have experienced that gave you a good feeling, a heart-felt thought. Link it to something that did work out. The two things may not be directly related, don’t worry – it doesn’t have to be a logical connection, but more of a heart felt motivation or joy.

This will help connect the change to positive thought, positive body chemistry and bring about a greater sense of flow in your energy levels. This will engage your neural chemistry for happiness. Feeling the energy of happy gives us many more options in our daily life.

Shauna Kendall works as an Educational Kinesiologist in the Byron Bay region of Northern New South Wales. You can find her here info(at)

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